Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
