We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
