He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
