He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
pop tarts are not kleenex
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
