apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
