His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
