So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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