Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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