i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
