Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I am one with the molecules
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
