there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
