Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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