This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
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