I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
