You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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