oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
