12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
