so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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