Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize