so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
