You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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