This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize