Sry I called you an 8
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
