can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
