So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
