Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
