all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
