Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
