I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
no you cant smoke seaweed
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
