Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
