4 words: hood of his car
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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