sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the condom got lost in my hair
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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