All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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