Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
