who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
