Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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