I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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