I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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