i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
