Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
