Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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