come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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