so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
