sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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