AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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