marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
