Define "chronic" masturbator.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
