I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
