you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
