Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize