I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
ugly people sure do ruin things
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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