exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
