If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
