Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
