i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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